R E X

I have the most amazing best friends ever. I know that everyone says this about their group of best friends, but they are wrong. I really do have the most amazing group. I have known almost all of my best friends since elementary school or middle school. There is nothing that I don't tell them. Even though sometimes we have been cut-throat and vicious towards each other, we still love each other.

I was reminded just how amazing they are by one of my friends Fb post:

"Remember how we used to share a locker with like 7 people? I thought of that this morning :)"

This post generated a lot of discussion. Yes, I remember how I used to share a locker with seven of my best friends in high school. I also remember how when I went to turn in my social studies book there was an assortment of profanity all over my book in sharpe about our teacher. Thanks best friends ;)

In high school we would stay up allllll night studying for our exams (I didn't even do this in college). One particular night while two of my best were slaving away over physical science and playing the same song on REPEAT the entire night, my other best friend and I decided to set an alarm that went off every ten minutes. Every ten minutes we would wake up and study and note card and then go back to sleep. We were doing so good. However, the next morning I don't know if the alarm didn't go off or we just didn't care. We were SOOOO late to the physical science exam. I mean we missed the first half of the test. I'm not sure why I thought it was so funny either. I could not stop laughing during the exam. I get tickled at inappropriate times.

I also remember how we lovingly would throw each other down the stairs in a bag. You HAD to get in the bag. Peer Pressure. How we made it out of the bag alive I'll never know.

I remember how we would pull each other's pants down in the stairs at school in front of everyone because we thought it was funny, and we were right...it was funny!

In college we all went our separate ways but were always there for each other when we needed each other the most. My friends are even willing to run people over for each other *we designated one of our friends though because I'm pretty sure she is about to lose her license anyways because of her speeding ticket problems and the fact she hits fences and the Brusters cow mailbox.

We've always said, "It's not the ex- girlfriend you have to worry about, it's the ex-girlfriends best friends" - "We GONNA FIND YOU"

We've been to one of our best friends beautiful wedding on the beach and held the newest addition to our group. I won the contest on when he was going to be born :)



Now we are preparing for another one of our friends to wed. I'm so glad we are able to go through all this with the people we have known our whole lives. I love each one of my best friends to death.

Sleeping BEAST

You know what I absolutely LOVE? Naps. I love anticipating naps, planning for them, snuggling back into my warm bed and wrapping the covers over me and sleeping. You know what I hate? People waking me up from my amazing slumber. I only take naps if I know they are going to be more than an hour long. You do NOT want to wake me up after only one hour. Naps should be at least two hours long, and you should awake on your own.

However, this was not the case today. For starters, Cooper wanted to play ball (of course) while I was napping. I tried my best to ignore him for the first fifteen minutes but I have developed an incredible new ability to throw the ball in my sleep. Anyways, during the first fifteen minutes of my nap my phone goes off. I ignored. Then one hour into my nap my phone starts going off again. Text messages, alarms everywhere. Cooper takes this as a sign that I'm awake. He jumps on me and sits on top of me to cut off my air supply so that I will have to wake up. When I finally opened my eyes there were four tennis balls on my head. FOUR. NOT NECESSARY! I also had a nice slew of text messages that progressively got worse. The first started out with a simple question mark (?- meaning where are you Love, and whyyyy aren't you texting me... this is in my head). The next just says "Mo"- meaning right now I am using a cute nickname, so hopefully you will text me back. Look how cute I'm being. The next says my full name in all caps. *I have to protect my true identity here* FULLLLLL NAMEEE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this means I have five minutes to answer back to this text or I'm in trouble) The last text message was so warm and fuzy. The kind that you love to read when you wake up. " What the hell are you doing?" At this point my eyes were open so I responded. Napping. OBVIOUSLY, not napping anymore. And then I started to explain in a text message what I look like after only one hour of sleep:Need I say more?


*Update: Picture One looks a little nice. Too nice. So here is picture two:

I missed the boat, the school bus, and the memo...

Disclaimer: This post is NOT a pity party! I just want to see how many others feel the same way I do.

Have you ever felt like you just missed the mark? (Thought of another one that wasn't in my title) I feel like that everyday I get on Facebook. I don't even know why I get on anymore. EVERY TIME I get on someone is either engaged, married, having a baby, or just got some amazing job in some remote and exotic land. Well congratulations to you! You did it! I really am happy for most people but at the same time was there some memo sent out that we had to accomplish all this by 2011, and I was unaware of this? I have a money-less job and a "boyfriend/whatever" who I am tricking into dating me. Yay me! So maybe I am having a pity party right now. This post isn't going to be as jovial as the others.


I have nothing else to write about. I'll write more later- check back!

Cat Lovers are Weird!

So I promise after this weekend to write something that doesn't include my dog, but for now I felt I would share this story with you:


Cooper has many quirks, like his mother he exhibits strange habits. First strange habit is that Cooper loves anything wood. He loves sticks, and tries to pull limbs off trees, and more recently felt the need to chew my baseboards and window sills. He also is an extremely picky eater (Cooper burps more than anyone I know. He feels the need to walk up to people and then burp in their face and then he walks away). The one habit that I want to talk about though is Cooper's inability to jump up into my car. My dog is an AMAZING jumper. He leaps right over my couches, feels the need to jump rope with his leash, but he will NOT jump into the car. Since he will not jump into the car, I have to lift my 70 pound puppy into my car. This is NOT an easy task. Here is where my story begins.

Yesterday Cooper had a vet appointment. I lifted my enormous puppy into my car and felt good about lifting weights for the day. At the vet everyone awed over my good-looking dog. Getting my dog back into the car was a different story. The parking lot was packed at the vet and there were a lot of people IN the parking lot for some strange reason. As I try to pick Cooper up he decides to role around on his stomach and then tries to jump and hop out of my arms. At this point I'm embarrassed and sweating. Finally, I get a hold of my dog and as I am lifting him his toenail ( is that what you call a dog's nails? Do dog's have toes?) gets caught on my pants. It slices through my pants AND my leg. So now I am screaming in the parking lot on the ground holding my leg. I am pretty sure that people are now starting to think I am "special" and are probably wondering if I am mentally capable to drive a car. I felt like I was bleeding profusely through my pants. I then immediately start to panic and worry that maybe his toenail cut an artery in my leg (yea it didn't, I was just being reallllyyy over-dramatic). Anyways, today when I got home I checked out my leg. I have a bruise that goes from the top of my thigh to my knee. It looks like someone took a baseball bat to my leg. I also have one large slit down my leg. I would post a picture but its kinda gross and I am really pasty right now.

I will post later and it will not be about my dog!

Here I am!

Since my Brett Farve and my father are terrifed about my identity (because one day this blog will be famous, even though right now everyone who reads this knows what I look like and pretty much everything about me) and will not let me post a picture of myself, Nat Nat drew a picture of what I looked like:

Here is cartoon me and Cooper:

Friday Night Frenzy

I am sitting with Cooper in my apartment on Friday night drinking wine. This post might be a little nonsensical. I just tried to cook dinner and it turned out horrible. I even took pictures of me making it. I really thought it was going to be good. I was making a version of nachos that I just invented. It was gross. Really. I ended up eating a piece of ham for dinner.




In the Beginning Middle GROSS! It doesn't look too bad though

Back to throwing the ball for Cooper. He is trying to keep me from becoming famous and rich and powerful. Errr.

So last night while talking to my "whatever/boyfriend," we decided that he needs a new name on his blog. HIS suggestions were: "King Shit" or "The Chosen One." My little sister thinks his blog name should be Brett Favre.

I had so much to write about earlier. Now I can't think of anything. I'll be back in a later>

Saturday Night:
I obviously never came back last night. I thought it a bad idea to continue writing. I was on a rant about some woman who wanted to talk crap about the CW. I understand that the CW is a television network that promotes sexually charged teens to turn into vampires, werewolves, or make someone intrigued in the idea of moving to the Upper Eastside of New York City and ruin everyone's lives they come in contact with, but I love it. I REALLLY love it. I tried to explain to the woman that I loved the CW even when it was the WB (she probably had no idea of this, so I felt the need to show her my dedication). The CW has produced some of the best television shows ever! Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dawson's Creek, Charmed, 7th Heaven, Smallville, Gilmore Girls, The O.C., One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, 90210, and Vampire Diaries. That is A LOT of amazing shows. Anyways, I told her I turned out just fine and her comment back was, "I don't know about that." *EXCUSE ME?* I then informed her that I had. I'm tired of the "Negative Nancy's," and she is one. She also proceeded to say that she would NEVER let her daughter watch the CW. Well daughter- in- the- future you are missing out.

Alright so the incident is still fresh and I ended up blogging about it anyways.

So I just ate cardboard for dinner because I am so broke. I ate cardboard mash-potatoes, cardboard corn, and cardboard stake (*UPDATE: Did I really spell Steak, stake?). It was pretty gross. This is because it is cheaper to by(*Update again: buy* this is getting ridiculous) crap food than wholesome food that is good for you. MAYBE, just an idea, if they made the healthier food less expensive and the cardboard food more expensive America wouldn't be obese.

This May Seem Desperate

Okay, so I awoke this morning and fully expected to be an internet sensation. To my extreme disappointment I am not yet. I understand that these things take time and I just have to be patient.

My "whatever" and I have taken the next step or rather I have taken our relationship to the next level. For over a year now we have been in this awkward limbo purgatory of a relationship state that doesn't fully exist yet we have all these strange understood and not spoken rules. So today I decided that I am in a relationship. I let him know of our now elevated status. I told my "whatever" that I am now calling him my boyfriend and if anyone ask him whether or not he is my boyfriend the answer to that question is yes. To someone reading this you probably think I am desperate or stupid. I am probably a little of both but I have good reasoning. I believe that if I keep calling him my boyfriend (with his knowledge) that he will forget he isn't "really" my boyfriend or that this wasn't his brilliant idea and he will just think he is my boyfriend.

Now to what I really wanted to talk about: Water

Stay with me on this.

How weird is the concept of Water? Really. Below is a list I complied today at my job (that I make no money at)

1. You Drink It
2. You take a bath in something you drink
3. You play in it
4. Fish and other marine life go to the bathroom in it
5. Humans go to the bathroom in it and THEN you continue playing in it
6. Your sweat is 99 percent water
7. Your tears are whatever percent water (I tried to Google this)
8. You can eat it (ice, snow)
9. You put it into other drinks
10. If you got something in your eye you flush it out with water
11. It comes out of the sky
12. It comes out of the ground
13. You spit it
14. I am sure there are more things that I can't think of

What else do you do all this with? I mean can you imagine how weird it would be to bathe in Sweet Tea? (water is used to make this too!)

I think it is weird. I understand you may not but wow. Really.

Blog number two in the same night as number one!

Yes, I am blogging again. Ahh! I have such an addictive personality. I am in-fact already in love with the idea of blogging and becoming rich off this website and famous and powerful! ( I know I go overboard). This is the latest I have been up on a "school" night in forever. I don't care, I love it. "I'm in love and I don't care who knows it."- Elf

I might also add that I should probably be a professional tennis ball thrower. I do this about 409900 times a day. Cooper has a nervous break-down if I do not throw the ball. He breathes all heavy in my face and then starts having eye spasms. Now he is looking at me because I am typing the words, "tennis ball." He knows.

I really have nothing more to say right now. I am just procrastinating going to bed.

If you are wondering why my blog is called Plethora of Useless Words it is because I love the word Plethora and I could not come up with anything else literary. I'm not creative in that aspect. If I wanted to come up with something corny then I could but coming up with a literary masterpiece of a title is not my forte.

Alright Coop is breathing heavily in my face telling me it is time for bed.

*Update: I wanted to post a picture of Cooper breathing in my face and having eye spasms.

My First Blog

This is my first ever blog. Until today I have been a blogging virgin. I decided to start blogging because I need a career change. This, I believe, is the start. I got the idea today while reading other people's blog and deciding that my life is just as boring and random as theirs. I am, nonetheless, extremely excited about blogging.

At this point in my life I have only accomplished a handful of important feats. I have graduated from college and landed a job. A job in which I have no money what-so-ever. Today while at my job I decided to compile a list of other jobs in which I could be doing and also making no money and not have to think as much.

1. Professional Blogger (started working on this approx. thirty minutes ago- yes, thirty because my internet explorer hates me and was trying to keep me from becoming a famous blogger)

2. Professional Dog-walker: I called up my father and my "whatever" to tell them about this new life goal and they proceeded to tell me that I don't even walk my own dog...this is because I do not get paid to walk my dog. This will all change when I become a professional dog-walker.

3. Receptionist: Don't care where

4. Creative Idea person: I am working on this last one. I already today came up with a wonderful idea that goes along with dog-walking. I am going to create a gym that allows people to walk their dogs on the track ( I am claiming rights to this idea). This way people can meet new people, have all the benefits of a gym, and take their awesome dog with them!


Since this is my first blog I will make a conscience effort to not make this turn out like my diaries. To my mortification my best friends found my diaries in high school and broke into hysterics and tears while reading my entries. The one that is always brought up is the one labeled, "Heather Beat Me Real Bad." This is my traumatic elementary school self getting beat by my older sister. At one point in the diary I explained how she beat me so bad that I was bleeding. This beating in actuality was a gross exaggeration of my elementary school self's imagination.  But hopefully these blogs won't be as stupid as that. Some days maybe.
Enjoy :)